Fitness Trainer Pet Peeves
Today is Festivus, and we fitness trainers who have been in the business for a long time have some grievances, and you’re going to hear about them!
[Note to the reader: this blog post is all in good fun! Please don’t take any of these Fitness Trainer Grievances as an affront. We hope you giggle reading it as much as we giggled while writing it.]
How to NOT Annoy Your Fitness Trainer:
Get to class on time! The only thing that ever looked cute while being late was the White Rabbit - and his lateness got poor Alice in all sorts of trouble.
While we all love being at the Studio, some of us do sometimes need to do other things during the day. That means we want to start class on time and end class on time. Don’t make us run class long and think up extra torture…we mean exercises!...to make up for the time you missed at the beginning.
Arrive smelling fresh. Sometimes, to show you how to do an exercise safely or prevent you from tearing an ACL and ruining your upcoming holiday, we need to get up close and personal.
If you see our eyes watering after one of these moments, it might not be because we’re just so proud of your form. How can we put this? You know those cartoons when green smoke wafts off their stinky clothes? We don’t love that. We know sweat happens, we just prefer you start your workout smelling like a daisy and not day-old takeout that was left on the counter.
Put your phone away, especially during a yoga class.
Once, while grocery shopping, I was treated to a loud overheard conversation in which a person was describing, on speakerphone, their dog’s throw up to whomever was on the other end of the phone call. Trust me when I say it made the soup I was about to purchase suddenly look a lot less appetizing. No one wants to hear your phone calls, especially not at the Studio, and especially when they’re trying to be a corpse on a yoga mat. Avoid unwanted phone calls with a “sorry, I was at the gym! Call you back never…”
Don’t awkwardly stare at other people working out. Ever feel like someone is watching you?
If you’re eating a snack, it’s probably your dog, and that’s cute (you should definitely give your dog some of your snack - as long as its dog-safe). But when you’re doing your last rep at the end of a long workout, you look like you were just swimming in the Hudson (which we don’t recommend), and you feel like you might imminently die - feeling watched is way less cute. Don’t be that guy, don’t stare in the Studio.
Pay attention to your trainers. We are the one thing you can stare at in the Studio! We’re trained professionals who can handle your intense looks - even when they are filled with hatred for making you do 30 burpees in a row. In fact, please stare at us. Follow our directions. Start and stop when we ask you to. We just want to keep you safe.
We hope you enjoyed the airing of our grievances. ‘Til next time, we’ll see you in the Studio - where you can also participate in some Festivus Feats of Strength, if that’s your thing! On time. And smelling great!